I can remember it like it was just yesterday. Freshmen year of high school, not really knowing who you'll meet, or what you'll encounter. It all started when it was P.E time, just a normal free day due to finals coming up. I saw a girl, with long semi curly black hair, wearing baggy pants and a loose shirt. I've seen a few times before, but never went to go talk to her. As she was sitting on the bench,I was laughing and being idiotic with my ''friends''. One thing that caught my eyes was that she was writing with a mechanical pencil,I even noticed a sketch book she was clutching onto. I was curious, because if anyone I saw having a sketchbook in their hands had to be an artist of some sort. I went to her curious to see what she was drawing, I was amazed to her style and how detailed she made her characters. I thought maybe she wasn't much of a talker because she didn't say much, so I asked her could I show her my drawings, and by the way her answered sound she seemed like she wasn't to sure of it. Now my art sucked I could admit that,but for once I was happy to find someone outside my group of ''friends'' who knew how to draw. Once I showed her I was really happy,even though she was superior over my art. After that day We continued to talk and see each other everyday. As the days,months,and year began to pass, I noticed my art was getting better. I loved the way she awarded me by telling me how much I've improved on. She even allowed me to be a part of her story she was making, I made a character and she loved her. Sophomore year her and I was still close. She was the rebel girl ''who didn't give a damn about what people thought'', and I was the ''listen to the rules'' type of girl. I even began to skip classes with her because we would wonder the school and draw. Lol. I can even remember one day in math class we were sitting next together doing drawn role-plays, and one day our teacher Mr. Seligmen caught on because her and I believed one of the students snitched on us and me and her had to be separated. That didn't even stop us from continuing or story, we would pass a comprehension book or a notebook paper,back and forth until class was over. Our daily teenage routine continued throughout high school. Then as I noticed junior year was here. . . I took a class called AFJROTC. It was for students who wanted to learn about the air force,or parents who just wanted to have their kids well discipline. I joined by my own free will, and it was fun. I joined the drill team,and stayed at the meetings wanting to learn more. As that began to happen I began to fade away from her. I would go outside where all the kids were just waiting for their bus and she was sit there on the curb with a few other people sitting next to her, as she sung a song or wrote new things about her story. The way she looked up at me with a smile was warming, she even licked my cheeks a few times saying I have her aids. xD. It was our little joke. I loved it. As time went one, She didn't show up to school very often. I would go upstairs to this corner in the art loft at our school to see if she was there. If not I would go back down stairs because other people were there that we talked to but I wasn't as close to them as I was with her.When she did come to school I was happy to see her because she was close to me. Senior year came, and she didn't. I then realized that she wasn't coming back due to personal problems with her and her family. I would be able to sleep over her house just to be with her and that was all we both needed. As my senior year continued, I began to fade from not only her but everyone else. I didn't see it, not thought about it. Me..Fading away.. Now this year,Everyone went to prom,she was going to be my date, like she said, she was going to be wearing a Mohawk and a tux,as I was going to be wearing a dress, with my hair in big long curls. We didn't get to do that. So I went alone with friends. After that graduation came. She wasn't there. At the end of graduation I noticed a lot of people crying. Did I cry? Hell no >BU! Because I wasn't going to miss anyone from that hell hole, but her. Time,days,and months passed. I told her I'll be in contact with her more often. I didn't. I made promises to her. Couldn't keep them..I begged for forgiveness every time, and she gave it. I was wrong for EVERYTHING I put her through. She was there when I needed a hug, when I was having really bad issues with an ex, when I needed to talk about my personal issues, and when I needed a shoulder to cry on. She was there. But I didn't return the favor. I would say how much I couldn't stand my family and what they done to me, but she was also a part of my family. She did nothing wrong, she saw me as her sister,as a friend. I did too. But I was wrong for giving her a hep full of crack. She would say how sorry she was for being a shitty friend,as I played the victim. She wasn't the shitty one, I was. She would say how sorry she was for saying something bad about me, but in reality the bad stuff she was saying was true, because I was doing the bad things. Every thing I did to her was my fault, like she said no one is perfect, and she was right. But I wasn't the perfect friend she 'trusted' I lost her trust once and gained it back...just recently I lost it again for the second time. Yeah I've been working and I now have two jobs, but like she told me just before she left me. my job don't take up my entire day, and it don't. I was being a lazy bum not putting any effort to speak to her. I would always say ''People come and People go''. But she wasn't ''people'' She was a human being. We all have needs and even want something so dear to us. She wanted me to be around her,or even speak to her. But I didn't. I was too dumb to realize that I was fading from her. I knew she kept me deep in her heart when she told me she loved me more than her family, I kept her to the side of my heart. I was wrong, because of how I treated her, the lies,unfulfilled promises. I then began to see that people only ''like'' me, she loved me,for my flaws,stupidity, and how I saw the world. Next year I'm suppose to go into the army, I remember telling her take and of course she didn't want me to because she didn't want anything bad to happen to me. That was when we were friends.. Christmas is coming up, and New Year's.. I honestly think she's completely done with me, I told her i'm tired of saying sorry because that's all I've done. ''Sorry'' won't take back to pain I caused her. I want to see her face to face before this year is over, I don't think she wants to see me. And who could blame her, was she the fucked up friend? NO. It was me. Today I had purchased a cheap used phone, after my phone got busted not too long ago. I wish I knew her number just to give her a call. I know her old house phone number don't work,nor do I know if she have a cell or not. But if I was able just to hear her voice I would be happy, even if she cussed me out saying what a terrible friend I was to her. I would be happy. Like I said she's probably done with me for good, but if she was willing to let me speak or see her in any kind of way. I would do it. I was wrong for not realizing what a great friend you were Alyx. I was wrong for putting you through a lot of bullshit. She was right, I don't know what it means to be a ''true friend'' And I wasn't a true friend to her as she was the truest friend to me.. I was wrong, and for that I'm sorry.